True Friends see your Vision

There are no words for friendship.

It can either be one of fulfillment or one of non purpose. My friendship with Karen has always been one of uplift. She has encouraged me, kept me focused, and shown me the authority I have that I wasn't aware of. It is a friendship in which I learn something everyday.

Karen understands my purpose with my business T.O.U.C.H. 52:11. She knows that the vision God has given me isn't about me but about all of those individuals who feel lost.

So Karen I THANK YOU SO MUCH!! for all you do and for who you are.

There is something behind the darkness!!

The darkness always consumed me. This is how I saw my days when I woke up. Everything was gloomy and sad. I couldn't get through those clouds. I felt as though I would never get to the other side of all that darkness. It kept me from having the ability to know that goodness was coming. Through focus,dedication and encouragement those clouds will eventually move.

Don't let the pain interrupt what you were born to do. Close your eyes and see yourself beyond the clouds, see the sun coming out just for you. Know the wind blows in your direction to speak to you and instruct you. If you are in a state in your life that you are no longer looking up, do so today!!! Those dark clouds can only stay if you allow them to. Push them out of the way and go for what is being hidden which is the treasure within you!!

The Love Of A Mother

What a wonderful time I had with my mother and son last week at lunch. We laughed, talked non-stop and truly enjoyed one another. My mother is such a source of strength for me. She has taught me so many wonderful aspects concerning being a women. She has also been there for me in the worst and best of times.

She never let's me feel sorry for myself, and she never let's me have a pity party. When people see me or hear me at speaking events, they often feel I did it alone, but the truth is her words of stay strong with me don't give up, stay with it, ring true in my mindset.

As I watch her with my son, I see how much he loves her and that she is instilling the same confidence in him. I thank the Lord daily for her wisdom and guidance.

The Love Of a Mother is true, sure and everlasting

Love you mom!!!!!!

Which smile is real?

Loving life and Going forward.
I went to lunch with my mother last week and I snapped the picture in the pink. When I looked at the picture I couldn't believe what I saw. I have pictures of myself stuck in my head of all the pictures I have ever taken. No matter how much I have changed, I still have the old me in my head. In the picture of me in the black, I was struggling to find the new me, the whats next. I was confused and in limbo.

But seeing this picture of myself last week I felt so beautiful!! I was able to take in the structure of my face, the smoothness of my skin and my true smile in the picture.
All of my pictures of me in the past, show me smiling but I felt like I was dying inside. But I could see in this picture that my smile is my happiness on the inside and outside. I feel proud of myself because I know The best is yet to come!!
Don't assume that those smiling are not hurting, search and ask how they are, are they in need of encouragement? Because things are not always as they seem.

So which smile is real? The one of me now, I have complete joy!!

Family First

As we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. this week, I was awestruck when I found this picture. We often see Martin away from home, helping others, serving others and doing for others. But what we need to remember is that family should always comes first.

Loosing weight allowed many doors to first open in my mindset, then open in my life. I developed the self confidence to move forward on my dreams. I was physically able to do what I wasn't able to do before. My life now enables me to volunteer at my church, complete my Masters in Education, and I working on a second Masters in Addiction now. I home school my son and have my business T.O.U.C.H. 52:11. There are many who say Sandra you're doing too much, or Sandra you shouldn't drag your son everywhere you go. But I always remember the love and structure I put in my life, is the love and structure he will put in his.

The above picture shows the love MLK had for his family. So for all of you single parents, don't let other's tell you that you shouldn't pursue your dreams and your visions. You are creating a strength in your children that will never be erased.

IS YOUR TREE BEARING FRUIT?

When God has given you a vision that you are to use and encourage others, it may sometimes seem as though you are alone and not understood.

When you begin working the vision you may not be able to "touch" the things you need. But continue to work the vision because everything you need is within yourself. Don't be a bare tree that isn't producing fruit. Know that you may not have all the money you need, you may not have the help you would like for your vision, but the most important ingredient you need favor and wisdom.

Once you have favor and wisdom that bare tree will begin to produce fruit. The only way this will happen is if you put the time in networking and educating yourself in the areas that you may be lacking.

Go for your vision, produce that fruit, don't leave that tree bare!!!!Stay encouraged!!

The Beauty of Being Alone

When I was obese I tryed to do everything I could to keep people around me. I never wanted to be alone. I understood being alone meant that I would have to face all of those strongholds that were keeping me down. I knew my mind would be quiet and I would have to be honest with myself. I would have to look at all of the difficulties head on. Therefore, I was never alone which was a huge mistake. It caused me to live through the lives of others instead of living through my own.

But The Beauty of Being Alone, is that I can now live the way I was truly created. I can now stand alone and not be afraid to stand apart from everyone. God has created a butterfly that is ready to fly!!! That tree may not have any one around her, but now that all the distractions are gone that tree can spread her branches and grow without limits.

I shall push forward, continue to seek God for wisdom and ask Him for continued creativity for my business. Because I now know that tree can change the world!!!

"Time means Change" embrace it

Today was a very busy day for me. I woke up a little later than usual because my body was hurting from my run on Thursday but I felt good about it. It was funny but as I was getting dressed this morning I looked down and noticed my stomach went down more than the last time I looked. I felt so good and I was proud of myself.

I sat down at my laptop and opened it up to my homepage and saw that MSN is having a success stories entry category for those who have had weight lost. I decided to enter and sat for the next two hours and wrote my story about my life. I added information about my business and how important I believe my business is for others. I will be anxiously awaiting to see how that turns out.

I had my sorority sister find me today on Face Book. She made me feel so good because she said she looked for Sandra Bailey Kelley everywhere and she kept seeing my picture but didn't recognize me. She finally took a chance and went ahead and responded. I posted a picture of myself from college so that she could recognize me. It is a feeling that I always wanted. I was so tired of hearing people say to me when I was obese that I had such a pretty face. It was if nothing else on me existed. Bu now people notice all of me. It is a great feeling but also a scary one. It is a feeling of nakedness. If I would have had a normal teenage years it would have been a regular part of my women hood, but I skipped over all of that. At age 37 I am just now experiencing these feelings.

But Time Means Change and I'm am embracing it. I understand it's OK to listen to people tell me I'm beautiful, it's OK to feel good about myself, it's wonderful to dream and even better to know that all my suffering will assist someone else. I don't want them to feel the pain I felt. The best way for me to help is to share my testimony.

Snow Day!!!

What a beautiful day!! My son woke me this morning and was excited about playing in the snow. It worked really well for us because we are studying Science today for his studies and it worked hand in hand. I made him put on two pants, shirts, socks, a scarf, gloves, hat and a coat!! He had me laughing because all he said he couldn't breathe because of all the clothes!! But I followed suit and did the same and dressed in multiple clothes. But as I was getting dressed I was so happy that I could wear two pants at one time.

When I was obese I wouldn't be able to do that. I would have gone outside and been cold. Once outside we played with one another, threw snowballs and just had fun. I am grateful that I am able to do these things with him, that I am still here, that I have the energy, that I can bend over to pick up the snow without being uncomfortable. Every day is a good day. I am hurting today from my 4 miles that I ran yesterday but it feels good to know I accomplished it.

Remember what it felt like when you were a child when it snowed? Feel that again and go outside if only for a minute and enjoy the beauty of the day!!

Leaving the old me, and learning to love the new me

As I think about the old me( the picture of me in the green is at 405 lbs) and the new me. I become sad about all the time that I wasted. I wasn't able to be a cheerleader, or run during field day, or have a boyfriend in school like all of my other friends. My activities were limited and I had no confidence in myself. I held all of my hurtful emotions in and never expressed how much I was hurting.

I prayed to look the way I do now. I still have 450 mind moments in which I forget that I have lost so much weight. I must remind myself when I go out that people are looking at me because they like what they see not because they are disgusted by my over stretched body. Even as I look at my new body, I am learning who I am. I have never been the size I am now and it is taking time for me to appreciate my waist, hips and especially my curves. As a women you begin to learn how to love your curves beginning in high school. I woke up one day and had them!! It's is a journey that is new for me everyday and I pray I am handling it with dignity and class.

For all of you that are trying to learn yourself through your transition, take it day by day. Appreciate the moments and Love Yourself!!!

Seeing beyond the pain

Today was a really prosperous day. I got alot done and I feel good about what I accomplished. I always plan my days to be sure there is a daily focused. Malcolm's teaching went well he really loved social studies which was my favorite while I was in school. The radio show went well and was informative and I went to run my 4 miles today on the treadmill and I felt so good and energized. I always make sure to concentrate on how my inner core feels. I even practice controlling my posture as I run. I beat my time for my run from Tuesday I was so excited.

I chose the photo you see because when I run I don't think about the pain, or how tired I am I just think about the distance I'm covering, the beauty of feeling like I'm flying. When I weighed 450 pounds I would have dreams about how it would feel to run. To be able to experience it is such a joy. I wish that freedom for everyone is suffers from obesity. You must have a picture in your head of where your running to and loose yourself. I'm so thankful and appreciative to God for the experience.

T.O.U.C.H. 52:11 radio show for today "How to Avoid on the job weight gain'

Today on the radio show I spoke on How to avoid on the job weight gain. It was a great show. I gave some great tips on how to create Lifestyle Living for 2010. I talked about the following:

Be sure to eat-throughout the day keep some type of snack at your desk. Be sure to first eat a good breakfast and lunch.

Compensate-get some type of physical activity throughout the day. Get some fitness equipment, take a walk, or park a little further away from your job and walk to your building.

Reword your network- get others involved in your motivation to live a healthier lifestyle.

Don't eat due to boredom-keep water at your desk when you become stressed, stay away from the vending machine and don't give in to emotional eating

Lose Technology- it has made us lazy. Get up from your desk to speak to co-workers instead of sending texts or emails.

I also spoke about Functional Fitness how to stay flexible no matter your age. If you missed the show log onto blog talk radio and enter TOUCH 52:11 and download the show from today or any other show that I have done. Leave your comments on how you feel about the best way to keep up with your routine while at work.

Remember Let's TOUCH the world together!!

Busy Morning but I'm going to run 4 miles!!

I just completed a very busy morning. I home school my son and we focused on social studies today. I taught him about New York, Central Africa, as well as, Bible. We ended class by Reading a chapter of Proverbs. I have him read a chapter a day to ensure he receive wisdom from God and I read a chapter during my prayer time in the early morning. Afterwards Malcolm practiced on his Healthy Tips that he does on my radio show on blog talk radio Thursdays at 11:30am. I decided to incorporate him with my business so that he too will have a business mindset. He loves it and it helps him with his memorization, and speaking abilities. He did very well today. I'm so proud of him. I am now off to work out. The plan to is to run 4 miles. I did so Tuesday and it took me a little over an hour. So the plan is to do it again today. I am working towards running greater lengths to prepare myself for another marathon in early spring. My hips are truly hurting from the run on Tuesday but that's just apart of the process!!

What it feels like to wear shorts

Many people wonder what owning millions of dollars feel like, some wonder what that perfect dress would feel like I wanted to know how it would feel to wear shorts and feel the sun on my skin. Being obese all my life I couldn't wear jeans or shorts. I hated the summer time because I was always so uncomfortable. Being obese I would always sweat, my skin would get terrible rashes that would get infected and there was nothing I could do.
When I took this picture last summer, I felt so free to have my legs and arms out. I often go outside in the summer and stand in the sun so I can feel what those rays feels like. I was able to watch my skin tone change colors and become darker. It was the most fascinating thing I had every experienced.
When you see an obese person don't just look at their overstretched body. Think about all of the dreams that are just sitting inside of them. If you are one of those person who think it can never happen for you, believe me it can. Don't Give Up!!!

Me at 380 pounds

I often refer to this picture to remind myself how far I have come. I took this picture in 2006. I was smiling but I was miserable. I couldn't breathe, I would break bath tubs because of my weight, my breast were so large that I couldn't sleep on my back because they would choke me. I was unhappy in my marriage and didn't know how to get out. All of this after I spent thousands for the gastric bypass and I gained most of the weight back. But I know hold on to this picture because of the possibilities of what the mind can do. But I continue to hold on to this picture so I will never forget........

Experience of Sea World

I was blessed and was given a trip to Florida in Oct. I had the time of my life. ,When my son and I went to Sea World I couldn't get over how wonderful I felt that I could walk around the entire park with no problem. I knew if I didn't have the gastric bypass in 1997 I may not be here to experience the fun. I was 450 pounds 13 years ago without the surgery I am sure I would be at least 700 pounds by now if I wouldn't have died from the weight. I was gaining weight so fast that I could no longer control it.
Thinking of all of that I was grateful just to have fun and not worry about the what ifs!!!

Malcolm wearing a $500 wrestling belt

I had to add this picture of my son when we went to WWE wretling. There was a very nice gentelman who allowed my son to take a picture with his $500.00 wrestling belt!!! Malcolm was so happy to wear it!!

Auntie of the year!!

I was auntie of the year for the Christmas parties. I went to my nephews Christmas party. I really had a good time and of course my son loved being with his cousin. Since I home school my son he goes everywhere with me and he thought the party was awesome. I love the family life and I do whatever I can to be sure the kids feel loved.

Not able to enjoy eating at Thanksgiving dinner!!

This is myself and my sister at Thanksgiving. I had such a wonderful time at my mothers house with the family especially the kids. It is much different for me now that I have lost 200 pounds and have had weight loss surgery. I am not able to eat like everyone else. I couldn't enjoy the foods that they enjoyed. I had to make the best of it and not let it depress me. I have learned fellowship with family is much better than food.
I actually can smell the smells and become full. It's a technique that I had to master over the years but it works!!!

Me and Michael

The greatest performer of all time Micheal Jackson. I went to see This Is It and it was wonderful!! I went with my mother and son and it was like going to a concert. It was fun to do something I don't usually have the time to do Something for myself. If you haven't seen it you have to. One of the best statements Micheal made was everyone always asks the question "when are they going to fix that problem or who is going to come to their rescue" he then said we need to stop asking who is going to do it and do it ourselves. He demonstrated pure perfection. Here I am with my Michael Jackson doll I bought when I was 12!! I never took it out of the box. A man offered me $500.00 for it

My son at WWE

I am updating you on what has been going on in my world. I was blessed to take my son to WWE wrestling show live in Columbus Ga. It was great and he was overjoyed. There were sooo many people but I think I enjoyed it more than my son :)
The great thing for me is that I was able to sit in a chair and not worry about if I would fit or not. No one around me knew of my story but it felt so good to know I was able to blend in like everyone else. Most importantly my son had the time of his life!!

Stressful day!!

Today was very stressful for me. I began my day with my laptop having problems, my son didn't want to do his work for his home school assignments, I had to run out in the middle of the morning to get a disk for virus to fix my computer. Then by the time I got back I had to leave again to take my son to the doctor.
Afterwards, coming home we sat in traffic, and I had to stop by my moms office. It was so much for me.

I had a moment today in which I remembered the old me. I would have immediately over ate and binged off food to deal with my stress. Instead of that I immediately came home got on my computer did some communication for my business and thought about why I was stressed so that I could calm down. I truly amazes me what a difference change in thought makes!!!

I am going to work on writing in my book, my story on my weight and what caused the obesity. I am on the section about the life with my ex-husband which is the hardest part. This is where I gained all 200 pounds back. But I can do it!!